My fiancé was born a girl, but he’s not a girl. He’s a man. Everyone talks about how hard it is for those who are born in the wrong skin; I honestly can’t imagine how hard it is for him on a daily basis. Waiters call him “ma’am”, strangers tell him he’s in the wrong bathroom, his family has no idea who he really is although he loves them more than anything in this world. Clothes don’t fit right, that facial hair is missing every day, and there’s these two lumps on his chest I’m sure he considers cutting off himself very frequently.
Here’s the confusing part. I consider myself a lesbian; I’m sexually attracted to women. So many times he has told me, “you’re not really though” and “what if I did have the surgery done?” Previously these things were really hard to respond to. I hated being told I wasn’t a lesbian, because I am, and quite honestly, what if he did have the surgery? I’m sure I did not give the most supportive responses then, with little to no serious thought on these things at the time. Today though, I have the answers.
I will smile with you when your first bit of facial hair appears. I will help you choose a razor for your first shave, and I won’t get mad about your first no shave November. I will not stare at your chest - I will pretend they’re not there just like you try to. When you remove them I will be there and I will hold your hand the entire time you’re in the hospital. When you’re home I will kiss your scars until they heal. When you have bottom surgery, I will do the same. I will not be turned off by this new skin you’re in - I will love it and the sex will be even better. I will love you a million times better and you can hold me to that if you’d like. I won’t want a woman even if I’m still incredibly attracted to Demi Lovato and Megan Rapinoe - you’re all I need. I’m not missing a thing.
The truth is you’re more of a man than any biological man I know. No one has had to fight so hard to just be himself, to just be comfortable in their own skin. You’re one of the strongest, bravest, people I know. I respect you and honor you.
I fell in love with you, not your body. Just like I’d be faithful and love you when we’re 92 and falling apart, I will be faithful and love you when you have a hairy face and a penis. You are still the same person I fell for. You were always this man. Is this what was expected? Gosh no…but your love makes me fly, and I wouldn’t give us up for the world.